Okay, I didn't make this up, but it's a true story that goes something like this:
The bandleader informs the band that he just took a pro-bono gig that starts early Saturday morning. The drummer quickly responds that he can't do it because he's got anal glaucoma. The band leader asks "what's that?"
The drummer responds "I just can't see my ass getting up early to play no gig for free"!
(you can use this excuse in any situation) Thanks to Lynn Axtell, Kalama, WA.
-V-